I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.