Jests that give pains are not jests.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

A stale article, if you dip it in a good, warm, sunny smile, will go off better than a fresh one that you've scowled upon.

When you get to a certain age, there is no coming back.

In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Freedom is from within.

I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.

Boards don't hit back.

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.

Religion is like a knife: you can either use it to cut bread, or stick in someone's back.

Modesty and conscientiousness receive their reward only in novels. In life they are exploited and then shoved aside.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

The two offices of memory are collection and distribution.

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.