I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.