Never lend your car to someone you've given birth to.
Every man's memory is his private literature.
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.
We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm.
Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.
After all, science is essentially international, and it is only through lack of the historical sense that national qualities have been attributed to it.
The right of a nation to kill a tyrant in case of necessity can no more be doubted than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.
The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching.
My specialty is detached malevolence.
Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect-and I don't live to be-but before you start pointing fingers... make sure your hands are clean!
Patriotism is usually stronger than class hatred, and always stronger than internationalism.
The thing I lose patience with the most is the clock. Its hands move too fast
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name.
There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
That which costs little is less valued.