If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.