I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.