We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.