A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.