Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

Sex is an emotion in motion.