Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.