Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.