I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.