Women are made to be loved not understood.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.