Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

When people start asking you to do the same thing over and over again, that's when you know you're way too close to something that you don't want to be near.

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.

Some newspapers are fit only to line the bottom of bird cages.

A place for everything, and everything in its place.

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting on his past actions and their motives - of approving of some and disapproving of others

They have formed their own 4-H club - the hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.

I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.

The Declaration of Independence I always considered as a theatrical show. Jefferson ran away with all the stage effect of that... and all the glory of it.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Wine is wonderful stuff. But so many people are put off by the snobbery of it.

All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be some place else.

If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.

The imagination is not a state: it is the human existence itself.

If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'

Do it again on the next verse, and people think you meant it.

An idea is salvation by imagination