One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!