Television is chewing gum for the eyes.

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.

Could be worse . . . I could be Sting.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

I'm not a genius. I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience.

You are like my little dog; when people see you, they know I am nearby.

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Domination delegates the physical violence on which it rests to the dominated.

Jests that give pains are not jests.

All the perplexities, confusion and distress in America arise, not from defects in their Constitution or Confederation, not from want of honor or virtue, so much as from the downright ignorance of the nature of coin, credit and circulation.

The mind that finds its way to wild places is the poet's; but the mind that never finds its way back is the lunatic's.

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.

A good liar must have a good memory.

An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us; and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

We need to keep hope alive and strive to do better.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.