War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.