If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.