Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.