A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.