Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.