Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
Men are as faithful as their options.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.