War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.