Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
I'm single because I was born that way.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Women are made to be loved not understood.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.