What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.