Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.