Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.