All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.