The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I'm single because I was born that way.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.