Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.