Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.