I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.