Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.