A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.