Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.