Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.