A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.