The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.