Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?