Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.