I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.