It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.