A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.