If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.