I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Sex is an emotion in motion.