I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.