I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.