It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.