Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
No good deed goes unpunished.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.