May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.