Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.