A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.