A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
No good deed goes unpunished.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.