You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.