Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.