I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?