You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.