When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.