I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

No good deed goes unpunished.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.