My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

It’s a terrible thing to appear on television – because people think you actually know what you’re talking about!

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

I'm single because I was born that way.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

He could not see a belt without hitting below it.