Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm.

Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.

Humility is attentive patience.

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

I want to put a ding in the universe.

His modesty amounts to deformity.

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

It is piracy, not overt online music stores, which is our main competitor.

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

The two offices of memory are collection and distribution.

If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.